Have you ever thought about who you really are, but I am mean deeply, who is the ' I' who expresses itself through speech?
Do you think that the 'I' that say I am a cook is really who you are. When the 'I' state: I am a cook, does that really mean that you, you, you yes you ARE a cook. It is what you really are, you are a cook. But even though, you might think that a cook is really what you are, what is it within the 'I' that is a cook.
Doesn't even occur to you that the 'I' is a big ego. 'I' always does something and can only talk about itself which sometimes talks good about itself or sometimes bad about itself but in the end, the outcome is always the same, it does not matter which way it is trying to get attention. Undermining self is also a form of attention. I read, I am a chef, I am studying, I am a not good at drawing, I can run fast, I paint, I can't do that, I can sing, I can't sing, I , I , I .....
Have you ever thought that you might be a total prisoner of the 'I'? I mean, can you express yourself without using 'I'?
No? is it because you think that the 'I' is yourself, right?
Now, the next question is the following. Is the 'I' the real you?
I would say, in the material world the 'I' is kind of who you are like I stated a few lines above; is it not the 'I' who is cooking, drawing, painting etc....If you look in one direction, yes you could say that the 'I' is you.
But looking further, I can also say that the 'I' is not really who 'I' am, because the 'I' is just a prison to make me think that 'I' is the only thing that I am .And because, if you use the model of the language to express yourself, yes you are within imprisoned by the 'I' because you might think that it is the only thing that you are, but if you can imagine that there are other ways to express yourself, without the use of language for a start, and without the use of the 'I', then, there is a split somewhere.
Why am I even debating all those questions?
One part, because I am trying to get a grip of what or who is doing the healing when I am performing a healing session and it is certainly not the 'I' as I get the 'I' out of the way, I get the ego out of the way. So, what is left when there is no 'I', no ego, no thoughts, when everything is nothing and nothing is everything?
I call this state, emptiness and fullness because it is possible to get access to everything that you can't even imagine.
And furthermore, like I said earlier on, it is when I am in that state, that I perform all my healings, I would see something broken, then I would fix it, I would see an object blocking blood supply and I would remove it, etc and etc but what I am getting at, is, what or who is performing those tasks of fixing, removing, repairing? and I do now believe that those repairs and fixings are happening as so many people felt better afterwards or people had their cancer reduced, people's heath always improved after my healing sessions.